30 days to go and this is what I am thinking about!
Over the weekend before the time of my penning down, I heard from a preacher friend of mine and one of our patrons at The Instruments, Pr Mochoge.
He delivered the word at my brother’s wedding and brought it clearly the issue of husbands and wives submitting one to another.
More often it’s the woman submitting kind of talk we get when Ephesians 5 is discussed. However, at the very start of this subject in verse 21 it’s the keynote start to the address.
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord.”
Mmmmmh. It got me thinking to take a deeper look into the passage. And lo! I was opened up to a study I never took before, especially now. This explains my write today. This is what is on my mind. My marriage to my fiancée, my best friend, my equal and my love.
Days running up to any kind of wedding are crazy days. One can easily pass out from anything. Especially thoughts and running up and down.
You see, Loise and I have had crazy times for the past few days and it’s still getting harder. Getting to have all things in place while still balancing that with normal office work, responsibilities and dates where we just share each other and don’t think of the wedding. It’s crazy but many encouraging words come our way that it will all pass beautifully and we will recover. She helps a lot too in making it easy and simple. Simplicity is one of our values.
I literally wake up early voluntarily, not with a struggle as times past, and get to work as early as 7am. Sometimes we engage on an early breakfast meeting before 7am. We just realize that if we don’t sacrifice, we won’t have the beauty we long for neither the time we need each day for all these things. And I must say in these times, my demand and responsibilities have hit the roof. Sometimes you feel you will breakdown with just one more push. But we thank God; He has been faithful so far. Sorry to all the friends who have a bone to pick with me for not being social or informative to them especially during this time. We will sort that one out soon.
Away from the crazy times we have and back to why this article. I met head-on with verse 25 to 28 of Ephesians 5. Not for the first time, but in a deeper look.
21 Letting yourselves be ruled by one another in the fear of Christ.
22 Wives, be under the authority of your husbands, as of the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body.
24 And as the church is under Christ’s authority, so let wives be under the rule of their husbands in all things.
25 Husbands, have love for your wives, even as Christ had love for the church, and gave himself for it;
26 So that he might make it holy, having made it clean with the washing of water by the word,
27 And might take it for himself, a church full of glory, not having one mark or fold or any such thing; but that it might be holy and complete.
28 Even so it is right for husbands to have love for their wives as for their bodies. He who has love for his wife has love for himself:
29 For no man ever had hate for his flesh; but he gives it food and takes care of it, even as Christ does for the church;
When God calls us men to love our wives, it’s a high calling! “Even as Christ loved the church”. The church is you and I.
So let’s embark on some thoughts:
You, who are the church, sometimes tell a lie. Right?
You and I, who are the church, sometimes fornicate or commit adultery, right?
You and I, who are the church, are sometimes heavy with pride and boast around of our rags, right?
You and I, the very church of Jesus, are too often unkind even to the beggars in the streets not to mention your own flesh and blood, right?
We even sometimes as a church too high minded not to consider Christ in our plans, right church? We do things our own way.
We engage in nonsense and self gratification shunning the requests and commands of our husband Jesus Christ, right church?
You and I, fall back to sin every now and then and sometimes don’t have the heart to go back to say sorry for sinning.
I mean, as a church, we have such a bad CV. We badly, in many ways, present who our husband is. To an outsider, we truly are a menace and unkind to our husband and the name He has given us. We take His name in vain.
So what manner of love is this that Christ has for the church, for us husbands, to emulate? Mmmmh…
Am reminded of the words, “While we were yet sinners”, “For God so loved the world that He gave…”, “Greater love has no man than this, that a man gives up his life for…”
It’s clear, that if am going to have a wife, I ought to love her. And not just any kind of love but one that calls me every day to give myself away for her. To sacrifice for her.
His giving was a sacrifice to ensure that the Church is cleansed from its sins. So longs as we live and are men, we are prone sin against each other. We will weigh on each other burdens that to normal men demand a retaliation and worse still, divorce or hate. We read stories of husbands and wives turning on each other to instill injuries some that turn fatal. Sad indeed. But thank God for Christ. His kind of love is one that when you as a husband are wronged, the only language you know is love. And so you respond with a greater love than the wrong done to you. Giving yourself in whichever manner to win back the happiness and romance you once had with your wife. The first love.
While thinking of these words, my thought went on to the worst of sins I could think of being done to me by my wife. Adultery. While my thoughts lingered here, I could feel the jealousy and the rage of what might be played in my thoughts, then I remembered Christ. When the prostitute was brought before Him “caught in the very act”, He used the opportunity to win her heart from sinning again building a follower’s love that would never be swayed.
The same time I was reminded of how God hates divorce and clearly it was not His intention to have it. So to me the original plan stands and I will equally hate divorce. Still my thoughts were brought to Jeremiah’s struggle to marry the harlot and fights to buy her back. Then I was reminded by the very verse, Ephesians 5:26… That God in His love gave to sanctify His bride.
I know we are limited in strength but as a Christian, I am unlimited with God’s Spirit. He will help in every time need arises. If at all one day I wrong her or she wrongs me, even of such a great measure, God calls us to forGIVE and LOVE greatly for where sin abounds, grace abound mightily. And you know what, when we forGIVE and LOVE after being wronged, we ought to forGET and take back your wife, my wife, your husband, back to yourself and present her to yourself and erase all that happened and see her as Sinless, spotless and without blemish! Cover her shame. Dress her up well and beautifully. Care for her even better. Be her Christ. No matter what people may say or think of her, to you she is brand new. For that’s what Christ just did for you and me.
And if that’s not enough, she is part of your own body. And nobody hates his own body. This is even a more compelling reason not to add harm to injury when wronged by your spouse. This could as well be A Selfless Selfish Call.